George Orwell once wrote, HAPPINESS CAN EXIST ONLY IN ACCEPTANCE. I remember hearing this quote years ago and being a little confused and confronted by it. I mean, acceptance of what exactly? I'd always been taught and had the understanding that being happy was associated with being positive, and having a good attitude? Where exactly was the mention of that?
As I've started to awaken, unravel my conditioning and expose my limiting beliefs, I've realised that this quote is more spot on than I even realised. So much so that I actually believe that a true measure of how HAPPY you are, can be measured directly from the level of acceptance you have of all of the perceived NEGATIVE parts about you. I'll tell you what I mean.
It's really easy to feel great about the things we like about ourselves. Those things that we view as positive and the outside world reaffirms for us that they are. It's all NICE and PLEASANT and these are things that make us happy right? because they FEEL good... right? and if happiness was actually measured and only included these things, we would all be living in bliss... right? But let's get really real here, take a look around... it's just simply not the case is it?
We are human and being human means that we JUDGE and judgment is the opposite of acceptance. We decide and place an energy to something in our beautifully human way, if it's POSITIVE, we can feel HAPPY about it, if it's NEGATIVE, well...... this is where this lack of acceptance has a direct correlation to our happiness!
I'll give you a personal example. So, anyone who knows me knows that I can be a little bit of a drama queen at times, just a little! I used to get so ashamed of this aspect of myself, I used to despise it and I used to pretend I wasn't. The shame, hate and pretence didn't change the fact that I am but on the surface it made me feel a bit better. However, lurking underneath, this lack of acceptance of this part of me resulted in an internal battle of denial and battles don't really equate to a lot of happiness, do they? I made a very conscious decision to lift the curtains on this and to try to understand myself a little more. Slowly, but surely I started to understand WHY, as a child, being DRAMATIC became a way of having my needs met. I started to relate to myself with compassion and kindness and most importantly with understanding and slowly but very surely, rather than judging this aspect of me, I have a level of acceptance of it. There's no internal battle anymore and I am not triggered like I used to be around other people who were sooo dramatic! haha! There's a level of comfort with it now, a level of acceptance if you like and with this comes an ease, a grace, an okayness resulting in a true feeling of happiness.
Kinda cool huh? These days rather than being angry when other people have this aspect showing around me, I have EMPATHY and it doesn't affect MY overall ENERGY or mood or happiness. You see, the most beautiful part of acceptance and working on the relationship we have with ourselves is that once we accept the things inside of us that we find so challenging, we can ACCEPT them in other people and this not only makes us individually happier but spreads it like wildfire into the outside world! And that's kinda what we all want isn't it?
If you're interested in deepening the relationship with yourself through the art of self-acceptance... drop me a line! I promise you, it will be well worth it!
Until next time xxx