A POSITIVE MINDSET AND EMOTIONAL INTEGRITY

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I've been reflecting a lot about BALANCE lately and specifically about things NOT having to be an EITHER/OR option. No black or white but a multitude of grey.

You know, there is such collective awareness developing and deepening about the absolute importance of having a positive mindset. Quite literally, your mindset can change your life! I truly believe that. However, I've also noticed that depending on how we label things, ie/ either positive or negative, it can have a profound effect on our emotional health. What if I said to you that ACKNOWLEDGING HOW YOU FEEL AND HAVING A POSITIVE MINDSET ARE COMPLETELY EXCLUSIVE AND SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER?

Let me ask you, do you label your emotions as positive or negative? If so, which emotions are positive, and which are negative? In a majority of cases (at least from my experience) most people will label Joy and Happiness as POSITIVE, and Anger, Fear, Grief, and Shame as NEGATIVE. Let's say this is the case... If we have labelled only one emotion (with its many variants) as positive, how freely do you think you are going to allow your other "NEGATIVE" emotions if you want to maintain your positive mindset?

What I really want to share with you is a different perspective... a grounded perspective that regardless of how you LABEL your emotions, you can actually feel them AND maintain your positive mindset... 

You see, a positive mindset and acknowledgment and allowance  (and permission) to FEEL how it is you are actually feeling can quite easily co-exist. The reason being... Mindset is in your HEAD and feelings/emotions are in your HEART. Your positive mindset isn't going to be tarnished by actually feeling because THEY ARE OPERATING FROM TWO DIFFERENT ORGANS WITHIN YOUR BODY. :)  Kinda cool huh?

Reality is... you can't THINK your way out of a FEELING... I'll say that again... YOU CAN'T THINK YOUR WAY OUT OF A FEELING... You may think that you can OVERRIDE it by ignoring it but DENYING that feeling because you PERCEIVE it as negative and REPLACING it with a positive thought does not actually negate the actual feeling... it just means that you are denying the energy to be RELEASED and SURRENDERED and DISOWNING a very human part of you. That energy doesn't miraculously disappear because ... you CAN'T THINK IT AWAY!!... right?  You actually hold onto it and it gets held in the cells of your body. If you think about the energy behind the emotion of anger... it's got some force behind it, right? Imagine if you continually DISALLOW this feeling over and over and over. Imagine just how much energy and power your little cells are carrying? It's kinda no wonder it ends up manifesting physically right? Think migraines or arthritis...? 

You know, this all comes back to the relationship that you have with yourself and how you actually FEEL and RESPOND to ALL aspects of you. Having this approach with your mindset and emotions being in harmony rather than in battle with each other... kinda sounds like a whole lot more calmness and peace in your everyday life... right? 

I see the shifts with my clients over and over again when the relationship with their head and heart is in unison rather than conflict… There is ease, peace and flow… it truly is a gamechanger. Reach out if you want to change your own life game!

Until next time xx

An Emotional Evolution

I remember as a little girl being taught by pretty well every person I came into contact with, as well as the greater collective, that there was one positive emotion to strive for and that was to be happy. Of course, I wanted to feel happy and was happy a lot of the time, but I also felt a lot of every other emotion, you know, all the ones that the world was telling me were negative... Did that mean I was negative and bad? Was there really something wrong with me? Why couldn't I just feel happy? I didn't want to be bad and I didn't want to be different so I learned to push what I was feeling down and hide away everything other than happy - not very well I might add, but as best I could.  

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I didn't understand what I was feeling and I certainly had absolutely no clue what being an empath was. Not only was I feeling all of my own emotions, but also those of everyone I came into contact with! This lead to so much frustration, pain and loneliness for me. I used to get so angry with myself that I wasn't normal and I hated feeling so much of everything all of the time. It was downright exhausting. 

I struggled with this confusion into my late 20's by which time all of the squashings of my "other" emotions, making myself wrong, anger and frustration resulted in a major depression. Quite literally, my emotions were so depressed and suppressed inside of me that I couldn't hold them anymore. As is often the case, reaching this crisis point meant I had to do something different and this is when a whole new world opened up for me. I started on a path of finally understanding and being able to acknowledge all of my emotions and I finally started to understand why I felt everything around me so very deeply. 

I began to explore and understand the energies behind each of our emotions. Reading and listening to everything I could get my hands on. Ultimately realising that there are no negative or positive emotions, but rather negative and positive RESPONSES, REACTIONS and BEHAVIOURS to them. 

Ten years on, and I have a far different relationship with myself and my emotions. Sure, I still experience a lot of discomfort at times with the intensity of them, however, I don't have that judgment anymore about them being good or bad. I have a deep understanding that each and everything I feel, no matter how uncomfortable at times, is valid and not only valid, it's actually what makes me human. I allow myself to feel angry, I understand that it's the energy behind it that enables me to find out what things mean to me, whether it works and to make changes. I allow myself to feel sad. I understand that sadness is a grieving process of some perceived loss I am experiencing and that it's actually okay. Anyway....you get the idea..

You know, understanding yourself, understanding how you feel and why makes all the difference in the relationship you have with not only yourself but those around you. Allowing yourself to feel how you actually do without the judgment of it being either a good or bad thing is something so very special. It not only allows you to just be as you are in your truth at that time but also opens your heart to make it okay for others to be and feel exactly as they do too. (Parents... this is the ultimate gift for your children!)

I think back to all of the confusion and pain I experienced in not understanding my emotions and on reflection, I wouldn't actually change any of it.  That feeling part of me that I despised and hated so very much is actually the part that has allowed me to be able to hold a space for others and be able to do the sacred and grounded work I do. When I receive words like this from my a very dear client, "For the first time in my life, I was able to work with someone who could sit with me in my deep emotions without fear or judgment", quite simply, it just makes it all worth it...

And isn't it funny, sometimes our greatest gifts to this world are disguised and hidden in our own confusion and pain... we just have to have the courage to unravel it all to find them!

Until next time xxx