A Positive Mindset AND Emotional Integrity

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I've been reflecting a LOT about BALANCE lately and specifically about things NOT having to be an EITHER/OR option. No black or white but a multitude of grey.

You know, there is such collective awareness developing and deepening about the absolute importance of having a positive mindset. Quite literally, your mindset can change your life! I truly believe that. However, I've also noticed that depending on how we label things, ie/ either positive or negative, it can have a profound effect on our emotional health. What if I said to you that ACKNOWLEDGING HOW YOU FEEL AND HAVING A POSITIVE MINDSET ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE?

Let me ask you, do you label your emotions as positive or negative? If so, which emotions are positive, and which are negative? In a majority of cases (at least from my experience) most people will label Joy and Happiness as POSITIVE, and Anger, Fear, Grief, Shame and Joy as NEGATIVE. Let's say this is the case... If we have labelled only one emotion (with its many variants) as positive, how freely do you think you are going to allow your other "NEGATIVE" emotions if you want to maintain your positive mindset?

What I really want to share with you is a different perspective... a grounded perspective that regardless of how you LABEL your emotions, you can actually feel them AND maintain your positive mindset... 

You see, a positive mindset and acknowledgment and allowance  (and permission) to FEEL how it is you are actually feeling can quite easily co-exist. The reason being... Mindset is in your HEAD and feelings/emotions are in your HEART. Your positive mindset isn't going to be tarnished by actually feeling because THEY ARE OPERATING FROM TWO DIFFERENT ORGANS WITHIN YOUR BODY. :)  Kinda cool huh?

Reality is... you can't THINK your way out of a FEELING... I'll say that again... YOU CAN'T THINK YOUR WAY OUT OF A FEELING... You may think that you can OVERRIDE it by ignoring it but DENYING that feeling because you PERCEIVE it as negative and REPLACING it with a positive thought does not actually negate the actual feeling... it just means that you are denying the energy to be RELEASED and SURRENDERED and DISOWNING a very human part of you. That energy doesn't miraculously disappear because ... you CAN'T THINK IT AWAY!!... right?  You actually hold onto it and it gets held in the cells of your body. If you think about the energy behind the emotion of anger... it's got some force behind it, right? Imagine if you continually DISALLOW this feeling over and over and over. Imagine just how much energy and power your little cells are carrying? It's kinda no wonder it ends up manifesting physically right? Think migraines or arthritis...? 

You know, this all comes back to the relationship that you have with yourself and how you actually FEEL and RESPOND to ALL aspects of you. Having this approach with your mindset and emotions being in harmony rather than in battle with each other... kinda sounds like a whole lot more calmness and peace in your everyday life... right? 

I see the shifts with my clients over and over again when the relationship with their head and heart is in unison rather than conflict… There is ease, peace and flow… it truly is a gamechanger. Reach out if you want to change your own life game. l

Until next time xx

A Step-by-Step Guide for Finding the SUPPORT you want!

Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like you really want something in your life, however, you just have no idea how to actually get it? I found myself in this situation for years in my business. I was wanting to find a network of supportive women, a community of sorts. I didn't just want to be in a group to BE supported, but also to be able to find my confidence to share and support OTHERS. I would join different groups, however, I would always end up with the EXACT same outcome. I would feel okay for a little while, and then slowly but surely I would clam up and eventually disappear from the group altogether.

What I didn't really understand is what support actually MEANT to me, what KIND of support I was actually wanting and what I NEEDED in order to FEEL supported. To put it really simply, I had never really gotten to understand myself enough to be able to define these things! Kinda sounds simple huh? but you know, in a world full of social media, with pages of people asking you join their communities for support and when you do, feeling the EXACT opposite of being SUPPORTED, you really can start feeling like there must be something wrong with you! Reality is, there's nothing wrong with the group AND there's nothing wrong with you, it's just it isn't the fit you need. Can you relate? How many groups have you joined, communities are you a part of where you just don't feel like you it's the right fit? How often do you fade away into the background?  Well, I have some seriously awesome news for you! Through my many years of discomfort in doing this, I've actually formulated a very simple step by step guide to ensure that YOU are CLEAR on the WHAT support means, WHY you are wanting it, WHO can meet you in this and HOW to find them! Sounds pretty cool huh?! I'll walk you through my steps and show you how I have finally found the support I have been searching for. 

The first step is defining what SUPPORT actually means to you? Everyone will have their own definition of this so really getting clear on WHAT it means for you is imperative. For me, the support I was looking for in my business was a space where I could be myself, where I could express myself in safety without any fear of being judged. Where I could be seen and heard without being TOLD how I needed to be. Space where I could ask for advice, yet be given the freedom of taking the advice that best suited me. Space where that support was able to be received AND provided.

Once you are clear on YOUR personal definition of support, the next step is to answer the question WHY do I want this support. What are you hoping to achieve by having this support? How will it make you FEEL? My why was to feel like a part of something where I could gain confidence in a gentle way, MY way, yet also have the opportunity to really support others as well. To communicate, collaborate, a place where a relationship could be established. 

Next is working out the TYPE of people that are able to support you in the way that you want and need. This is a big one! This really requires you to understand YOU! How YOU work, your personal qualities, what serves you and what does the opposite. So, I know I'm highly sensitive, an emotional empath and can be quite shy. Safety is paramount for me. What I really needed more than anything was to be with people where this would actually be okay. I wanted to be in a community where doing things gently was okay. Where strength wasn't determined by the level of HUSTLE but rather, a softer approach was not only valued but seen as equally strong. 

The final step is HOW to actually find this support. For me, it was reading, learning and listening. Not only from the people delivering content but also from other people's responses and reactions and soon enough, you will get a real clue as to WHO can give you the support you are actually looking for. 

Once you actually have all of this information in front of you... I can tell you that you have your map to find what it is you are after and with this level of clarity... you WILL actually find it if that is what you want! 

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For me personally, I have found and am a part of the Gentle Business Mastermind. The founders Amanda, Nicola and Naomi are like a dream come true for a woman who has always questioned whether she can actually make it in the world of business. The example of doing business gently that serves you in the highest possible way whilst honouring fundamentally who you are is the ultimate display of strength I have been searching for. What has happened for me in having this support by not only these three incredible women but the broader group of amazing, talented humans has been incredible. I've become even more clear and confident in my message of the power of transforming a deep connection with oneself, I finally have some consistency and discipline with my business, I am sharing more and more with people and am confident in this sharing, I'm connecting with a broader audience than I ever have before and I am finally seeing myself as a woman of business. 

 

When you understand YOURSELF and what YOU truly need to FEEL the way YOU really want, there literally is only one outcome available and that is the ability to source and deliver a way to actually make all of this happen!

I hope this will help you in finding the support you are wanting and if you would like your own support to explore and understand what YOU really need, please don't hesitate to reach out to me!

And, to check out the incredible things Amanda, Nicola and Naomi are doing in the world of business in their own beautiful way... the links are below.. 

www.amandarootsey.com.au
www.naomiarnold.com
www.nicolanewman.com

Until next time xx